Crybaby

Today I cried at work.

hah.

nothing weepy or loud and obnoxious,

just two quiet streams running down my face 

and ruining my scrappy foundation job from that morning.

It was nothing that anyone did to me, really.

I was just frustrated. annoyed. angry. confused. 

with myself.

WHY can't I figure out this image?!

(I create editorial images for this site)

I have been feeling quite stuck the past few weeks.

Meeting up with me must've been really exhausting,

cause all I can do is complain about how busy I am

 and how tired I am from being busy.

but being in that embarrassing, snotty, teary mess today..

I hit a wall.

and when I hit walls, I turn off my computer and read my bible.

or read: I finally think to run to Jesus.

and that there..that's what it is.

Sure, I'll continue to struggle at work, 

the learning curve will continue to be unknown and extremely steep.

but I can't bank on myself, my skills, my knowledge, my yadayada.

heck, I can have all the talents in the world

and have nothing.

I need to be looking for God in everything, with everything.

---

THIS:

1. "In him we find the wisdom, strength, and reason for hope that we have been lacking. 

Far more than happy feelings and accurate understanding, 

Christ gives me reason to continue in something that would have long since defeated me."

from 'Relationships: A Mess Worth Making"

2. "He is before all things,

and in Him all things hold together."

Colossians 1:17

God is good.

Response

Two things this Wednesday morning:

1.

"It’s easy to think that unrealistic deadlines, unforgiving bosses, 

and out-of-control traffic are the reasons 

we’re so stressed all the time. 

You can’t control your circumstances, 

but you can control how you respond to them."

- this article

2.

"It is absolutely clear that God has called you to a free life. 

Just make sure that you don’t use this freedom as an excuse 

to do whatever you want to do and destroy your freedom. 

Rather, use your freedom to serve one another in love; that’s how freedom grows. 

For everything we know about God’s Word is summed up in a single sentence: 

Love others as you love yourself. That’s an act of true freedom. 

If you bite and ravage each other, watch out—

in no time at all you will be annihilating each other, 

and where will your precious freedom be then?"

Galatians 5:13-15

I MISS YOU HONG KONG.

my uncle from HK is in town for a work trip.

and he brought this baby back:

i interned for his workplace two summers ago,

and got to design an entire album for them,

start to finish, beginning to end, A to Z.

you get the point.

'twas exciting getting to have an actual physical copy.

everything's virtual and almost not real,

until you're holding it in your hand.

---

anyway, got me reminiscing about my HK summer.

food, family, and humidity.
i think that's how i'll sum it up.

walk down a very colorful memory lane with me, will you??



1. Sheets of Tofu, in my mom's old HK stomping grounds
2. Pounding the pavement, from my morning commutes
3. Checking proofs for the album design!
4. Little fish polishing my heals in Singapore

5. First solo taxi ride with translations in hand, so nerve racking
6. Foggy green mountain mornings
7.  Fun leather class with my cousin
8. That rare morning I swam, in Singapore

---

wahh, when i hoard up enough vacation days and some money,

you can bet i'll be on a 15 hour flight back to the motherlaaaaand!

twine EVERYTHING.

spending so much time working in front of a computer now

makes me itch for ways to get my hands dirty.

sigh
BRING ME BACK to school again,

when i had paint all over my clothes,
my arms,
the carpets

---

so this past christmas shopping season,
i went a little nuts at daiso (LOVE) buying gifts for coworkers,

and i also bought three rolls of twine..
which sparked a sudden obsession with wrapping and twine-ing:

"Secret Cupid" with the coworkers.

YESS, paint that trader joes brown bag.

^circa Christmas 2012

LOOK HOW FAR I'VE COME.

and last night's addition to the wrapTHAT, twineALL series:

so fun.

#showoff

Can't, WON'T.

Midweek reality check:

You can't please people.

You can't make them happy.

maybe for a day, but not forever.

whomp whomp, huh??

no, but really.

this has been a pretty tumultuous few weeks at work,

ups and downs, inside out, hanging on for dear life.

tumultuous in the sense that we've felt a little uninspired, restricted.

and it's really affected how our team's been functioning.

i'm sure everyone knows how that feels,

so i feel ok posting about this here.

i've been exhausted!

trying to figure out how to fix this.

how to be a "solution" to the problem.

since getting this job, i've really been praying

well...less praying, more wondering how "i can be a light" here in hollywood.

i really thought that meant smiles, happy faces and a really good attitude about everything.

WELL.

i'm incapable.

and i realized that yesterday somewhere along the 10,

when I finally surrendered this whole savior complex to God in prayer.

---

TWO THINGS:

1. this verse, ironically from our bible study just this past saturday.

"Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings,

or of God?

Or am I trying to please people?

If I were still trying to please people,

I would not be a servant of Christ."

Galatians 1:10

duh, Trisha, it's ALL RIGHT THERE.

2. this not-so-HIP, but totally happening song from the 90's:

Oh Holy Spirit, You're my comfort

Strengthen me, hold my head up high

And I stand upon Your truth

Bringing glory unto You

And let the peace of God,

let it reign!


ah, amen.

CALLING ALL BACHELOR FANS.

Nope, I don't know anything about Juan Pablo's season,

other than the fact that he's got an accent and a daughter?

Maybe this isn't something to flaunt. haha.

so I've watched select seasons of the Bachelor franchise,

but only if the people are kind of interesting.

ie. Emily Maynard

totally watched her entire Brad season because

she was from the south.

omgah, she met Dolly!

'nuff said.

haha.

---

anyway, in the midst of a pretty tough work week,

this was a really wonderful breath of fresh air to read,
also kinda from lala-hollywood-land.

Emily shares about her faith and how God redeemed her from her brokenness:

"...For so many years I have questioned why He would bring me through something like The Bachelor and eventually The Bachelorette, knowing all along I would meet my husband through church just a few miles from my house. Couldn't He have spared me so much heartbreak and humiliation? Well, as I was praying for Him to give me any excuse NOT to speak at church, I kept getting the same message: THIS was the very reason. I have gone through many storms in my life, only to have God bring me through to the other side and now was my chance to give Him all the glory."

from her blog.

and here's the church interview with Emily and her fiance.

heck, I don't know her. obviously.

but as a Bachelor viewer, I've been totally sucked into this lady's life 

and have been rooting for Emily's happiness since day one, haven't you??

and PTL, this happy ending and final rose is truly coming
from something bigger and better than reality tv,
Jesus himself!

yay.

That blogpost about blogposts.

Just spent the last hour trying to save my xanga entries

(xanga is ending??! something complicated?)

 and import them somewhere safe.

..like a folder on my desktop. 

hahaha.

omg. xanga.

that cyber journal that carried me from middle school through highschool.

which then led to my old wordpress,

documenting my photography ventures.

365 photo project, anyone??

some highlights, thoughts:

1. I still write/speak the same way, via blog.

2. I can't believe I've kept this up for so long.

3. This past hour just reaffirmed my blogging love and purpose.

hahaha.

deep thoughts.

but seriously, what a great way to dig through my past.

Maybe I have some ability to stay consistent.

I've got it in me!

anyway, a few fun entries I pulled from my wordpress:

1. My first Mt. Hermon experience

2. This wart I had for a good 6 months!

3. MH Design Impact Team

4. A pretty cute, endearing entry about my sister

5. When we had huge all church picnics

6. NEW YORK

7. and my dad, haha.

ah, so fun.

what a blessed life I live!