Right now.

Being at home without a crazy school schedule is really nice.
There's a lot of time to think and journal and daydream.
Then there's also a lot of time to self pity and wallow in fears.

Today I've been hit particularly hard with big waves of insecurity.
I can't blame it on my family for asking about my job status.
It's been a steady build up of a lot of these kinds of internal thoughts.

Is it silly to just continue "creating"?
Does it really matter, what I'm doing right now?
What are my goals? Do I have goals?

Is this weird early 20's stuff? haha
Relationships & career seem to be the hot topics.

Here's an honest prayer tonight--

I'd hate for my ultimate goal in this journey
to be about making it big, striking it rich, and finding a husband. 
Teach me to be satisfied in the now
that You've presented and provided for me."

"The Lord is my portion," 
says my soul.
"Therefore I will hope in Him."
(Lamentations 3:24)


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