12.30.2013

SHE SAID YES.


turned the page suddenly into a new chapter in my life.
engagements...

no, not me. haha.
but with friends/family hitting these big milestones, 
i feel like i'm definitely diving into these things with them too.
*INCLUDE ME*



my friend @bchanglezz just proposed last weekend.
(!!!!)

i always thought the girls did the bulk of the work.
wedding planning, dreaming, executing..
i mean, just look at pinterest.
i don't see many dudes updating their hair/makeup boards.

but being involved in the whole planning process has given me such an insight into all that's involved.
for one thing...keeping secrets SUCKS.
planning a smooth, successful SURPRISE is really hard.
it's just all around..kind of, really stressful too. 
arts and crafts and program folding have NOTHING on this stuff.

this made me appreciate the dudes so much more.

i'm glad all i had to do was paint a few signs and snap some photos.
well done and bravo to those brave souls who have fixed up a whole proposal. seriously.

anyway, a few snaps:




 














so cute. so happy.
#kchanglezz

what an honor! thanks for letting me be involved in this guys.

10.13.2013

Happy Trees.


My college buds put together this really great youth event every month, 
promoting good fellowship and involves major event planning/decor/funsies. 
I love helping out at these events, seeing my friends, meeting awkward hilarious high school kids, pushing ourselves to our physical limit setting up..
nuts.

anyway, last night we had a crazy maze..I've never loved fake cobwebs so much. 
All staff and *one* kid came in costumes, so much fun.
My old roomie and I came as this:


you know, this guy:

watch it.

seriously, those 16 seconds were a major throwback to my childhood.
PBS only days, filled with Barney, Sesame Street, and good ole Bob Ross!!

so fun.
and SO my painting mantra. haha

Happy October.

10.04.2013

Cheese.


Work has put me in a routine.
It goes a little like this--

Alarm, snooze, 
morning routine,
morning traffic,
draw draw draw,
head home,
more traffic, 
dinner or the occasional hangout, 
yadayada,
sleep

It can get a little monotonous..
especially the parts of the day where I just stare at car bumpers for-evahh.

I feel like I had such a horrible work ethic throughout schooling, 
even with all the exciting projects and challenges.

But now I'm drawing cheese all day. 
I'm exaggerating..not really.

Yet I love it.. 
I do. I really really do.

- - -

An excerpt from something I read for church group:

"...perhaps God is strong enough to exult in monotony.

It is possible that God says every morning, "Do it again" to the sun;
and every evening, "Do it again" to the moon.

It may not be automatic necessity that makes all daisies alike; 
it may be that God makes every daisy separately,
but he has never tired of making them...

The repetition in Nature may not be a mere recurrence;
it may be a theatrical encore."

-G.K. Chesterton

- - -

my prayer:

I want all these curdled milk illustrations to be a reflection of God's beautiful daisy artistry.
Seems so immediately mundane, repetitive, and monotonous,
but at the end of the day,
I won't tire of it. 

I'll just do it again. 


ugh, God is so great!


9.30.2013

MOM.

My mom's never been the kind of mom I read about in books growing up.
None of that physical affection or soft, sweet words of encouragement.
Not to say, she is the complete opposite of that. no no. 
It's a quiet kind of love that takes a bit of time and pondering to really reveal. 



I read about all of these magical moments that moms experience when they first have their baby. 
I imagine it to be a very raw, first hand experience of loving like God does, a glimpse of his unconditional love. I imagine it to be like a sudden rush, overwhelming. you know, the ooey-gooey, indescribable stuff that you can't grasp, can't put into words. 

I'm not a mom. So I can only imagine and be dramatic and use a lot of adjectives. 

haha.

A few weeks ago, my mom and I had a pretty honest, loud argument. 
A good couple of hours was spent talking at each other. I was trying so hard to get my point across, trying to be heard, trying to be right. LET IT BE KNOWN that the 22 year old is more mature than her own mother. hah!

It ended with both of us even more frustrated and me walking back to my room, defeated. 
My dad came in my room and asked me to give my mom a hug before she slept.
I thought that was a really stupid request. I just fought with the lady, why would I hug her? 
That's ridiculous. 
My body wouldn't allow it. 

I've been trying to meditate on the love verses these past couple of weeks. 
And as I lay there thinking about the silliness that just happened, I remembered my verse that week:

"Love does not envy, it does not boast. It is not prideful."

I fought it! Real hard! 
But the Spirit quickly pointed out the very thing I was fighting all night: my good ole PRIDE. 
yeah, that. 

I lugged my body over to my parents' room and, in the most monotone-i'm-still-angry-voice, asked my parents if we could pray. 

We held hands.
My mom prayed first. 
And I realized, God was listening.
I felt silly. small. incapable. 

And I remembered all those blogs that I read about the magical mom moment.
Maybe my mom did experience that when she had me, I don't know.
But this mother-daughter relationship isn't built on that foundation of thee magical mom moment.

As I sat there, in prayer with my parents, I realized that this was the *magic* that was our glue.
God's more patient and gentle love for each of us, heals. calms. convicts.
His love teaches us to pursue loving each other, more deeply.
It's true.

- - -

"For Ragamuffins, God's name is Mercy. We see our darkness as a prized possession because it drives us into the heart of God. Without mercy our darkness would plunge us into despair - for some, self-destruction. Time alone with God reveals the unfathomable depths of the poverty of the spirit. We are so poor that even our poverty is not our own: It belongs to the mysterium tremendum of a loving God." 

- Brennan Manning 





9.19.2013

KINDERGARTEN WAS GREAT.

One thing I miss a lot after getting this job is
not being able to pick up this preschooler from class Wednesday-Friday.
She was a total chatterbox--
I could ask her the same questions every day and it wouldn't be awkward.

Anyway, got me thinking about kindergarten haha
...and I remember a lot of it.
vividly.

So a list..

1. Fake oreo cavities on my back molars 
2. No running with scissors allowed 
3. No writing "8" with two circles 
4. Sitting by the chalkboard cause I chatted too much 
5. Fracturing my arm and a buddy helping me cut paper 
6. Kids going to speech class and wondering what that was all about 
7. Mini restrooms in our class
8. Sitting on my own carpet square 
9. Listening to the kost on the freeway 
10. Toys r us giraffe
11. Halloween costume parades, pretty sure I just wore orange that year
12. Kitchenette



9.11.2013

Dolly.



working 9 to 5..
what a way to make a living!

- - -

I've been busy away from this little corner of the interweb,
thanks to a newly acquired job!

one that involves a gigantic imac (my my, those screens are HUGE),
relentless traffic, and work that I really do love.

There have been moments throughout my day where several thoughts cross my mind:

1. They really needed an ILLUSTRATOR??!

2. I love what I get to do!

3. I'm so blessed.

It's easy to let these good happenings and encouraging back pats get to my head.
I want to credit myself, for everything that's happened.

but y'all know, that clearly wasn't the case. 

I've been searching and continue to wander into the wrong things,
thinking I surely know what I need for myself. 
But my capacity to know and foresee the future quickly hits a wall.

God continues to surprise me with His even greater providence and sovereignty.

He's bigger.

"But we have this treasure in jars of clay
to show that this all-surpassing power is
from God and not from us.
We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed;
perplexed, but not in despair;
persecuted, but not abandoned;
struck down, but not destroyed."
2 Corinthians 4:7-9



9.03.2013

I'D LIKE A LAKE, PLEASE!




Back from a weekend out in the armpit of California..
or Fresno.

haha. that nickname is seriously spot on.

Our campground was so so hot and dry, ant infested, 
and seriously brought out the first world diva in me. 
it's true. 

and you know,
it could've been a weekend plagued by 
these really gross and sticky circumstances.

but i was in great company,
and that definitely trumped anything else,
PLUS there was a beautiful fresh lake to waddle into. 

all the yuck and muck could only be left behind in the thick mud by the shore,
making it such a great labor day weekend away from suburbia.

He is such an amazing Creator with these little pockets of paradise.
I got a glimpse of that, both in amazing lakes and new/old friendships.
God is good!

8.27.2013

I LOVE: Stephanie K. Clark

Remember cross stitching?
It's not a craft that's disappeared or anything,
I just haven't touched any of that stuff in YEARS.

I used to be really into it.
This hairstylist at my mom's old salon used to cross stitch for her grandkids during her breaks,
and I would just stare at her working, while waiting for my mom.
I think I tried starting a couple, from kits I got at Joann's?
Never finished them. 

Now the only times I ever use embroidery thread is for friendship bracelets at camp,
and that's if I'm really bored. 

- - -

Anyway, I could type forever.

I found this artist, Stephanie K. Clark, on Pinterest the other day.
She 'paints with embroidery thread'. 
If you scroll on, you'll see..




Isn't it AMAZING??

I'm so jealous.
makes me miss painting.

Find more here.





Incomplete.

I love my google reader (RIP).
I love my feedly, now.

It reminds me that the world is big. 
And I'm not the only one lost in thought sometimes. 
So many bloggers out there, with such awesome things to share.


I'm so encouraged by this post from blogger/artist Sarah Carter.

"The fact is, we are incomplete beings.  
That is a Christian message and at its core it is true.  We are all missing something but I'd contend that what we are searching for can't be found in the aisle of a store or on someone's facebook wall.  Our work as people is to regain connection with our Creator, and if this is true, we all have an internal whisper reminding us that we are incomplete.  Keep searching, dear one, keep marching and trying and filling yourself, because something was separated from you and its your human mission to find it again.

... We are walking the earth in search of what is already within is us.  
But we live in a society that plays on our ache and sways us to try and soothe it with created things rather than the creator of all things."

Hop over there to read the entire post.

Happy Tuesday.

8.23.2013

Mock Interviews.


This week began quite tumultuously.
(you can read a few posts back and get a taste of that.)

But it ends on a really sweet note. 

I had an interview this morning!
I don't know if these are things that should be blasted into cyberspace. haha

tamed hair and long sleeves: interview getup.

But honestly, I want to share this.

A buddy of mine sat me down last night to have a mock interview.
It was something I was dreading, but knew I needed to take a stab at. 
Practice makes perfect right?

One of the questions was simple, but a deep one.

What kind of person are you?

It's a weird one to answer.
I mean, the Asian in me wants to be humble and coy, yet confident about it.
You know passive aggressively throwing out all my great, hard-earned qualities,
with a little bit of blushing and head shaking.
I'm exaggerating, but do you do that? haha

But anyway, if I gained anything from this mock interview experience,
I gained a really great time of reflection
(and I wrote this in an email to another friend of mine):

I realized that my creativity, my inspiration, comes not from myself 
but from being with people, being outside, being in new environments. 
I am an artist based not on simply what is inside me or my talents, 
but honestly, from relationships that God's graced me with. 
This is completely mind blowing and I realize is something that is seriously divine. 

The answer I came up with was beyond me,
and by that I mean the Lord definitely reminded me of this and placed it on my heart. 

I'll end with this quote from a book I'm reading with a buddy 
(email book clubs are SO in. i love it)

"We should be measuring our potential according to the size of God's provision 
and the promise of his eternal presence. 
Even in the deepest difficulty, we are never without resources. 
We are never alone...
Our problems have everything to do with sin, 
and our potential has everything to do with Christ."


8.21.2013

GREETINGS, in stationary form.


These cards were so much fun to make.
It's the best when dreams become reality, especially in paper form.

are ya with me??



I had these out and about during artwalk, 
and now they're happily inhabiting the Etsy shop.
yay!


Messy Good.

pretty much the look I had going today


Coming off a morning of a total roller coaster of emotions.
I must admit, I can be completely dramatic at times.
Tears and frustration and anger made for a morning of puffy eyes.
What little double eyelid I had became mono lid. 

The last few days of feeling so much self inflicted pressure and insecurity
 finally cracked this morning with a simple question 
from my well meaning, but concerned parents:

"Are you applying for jobs?"

I know I keep talking about this..

but honestly, this blog was not purposed for me to give amazing DIY tips 
or to simply show off little illustrations I make here and there. 
(though I COMPLETELY admire and respect blogs who keep that up. honestly, you're on my feedly.)
there are zero filters or pretty how-to's today..

Anyway, 
my biggest beef with my parents asking these career questions 
is that I didn't want them to see career = sucess. 
I could have the best job out there and still not be a good person.
Obviously, there's a lot of character building that needs to take place
(and the good Lord is making real sure of that!)

I've also been thinking a lot about why I'm even "art-ing."
I literally was laying in bed the other afternoon, pondering.
super dramatic, 
but necessary.

I was sick of just making things, posting them, and hoping for fish to take the bait.
It seemed so silly.
How many more cycles of this could I go through?
What was the greater purpose in this?

So I'm praying for a little more clarity in this.
God, how can this gift be for you?
What's this big picture?
What are the little steps forward that I can take?

And if you could join me in prayer, that would be awesome.

- - -

I'm grateful though.
Blessed to have parents and a family that allow me to be gross, puffy eyed me.
to let me express my wiiiide range of emotions.
to patiently hear me out, yet still remind me of a hope that is beyond me.
Families are messy.
and it's true, deeply rooted families and relationships require so. much. heartache.
but in that comes joy and an unconditional love that could only be stemmed from God's grace.

I mean, Jesus himself.
a messy, unjust death
that allowed for resurrection and beautiful new life. for us.

MESSY GOOD. 


8.18.2013

Space out.


pismo beach camping trip, oct 2012

A friend posted this quote on Instagram today,
I believe it's from the gospel coalition?
and it is SO relevant:

"Waiting is not a sign that your world is out of control. 
Rather, it is a sign that your world is under 
the wise and infinitely attentive control of 
a God of fathomless wisdom and boundless love. 
This means you can rest as you wait, not because you like to wait, 
but because you trust the One who is calling you to wait."

Like my previous post suggested..
man it's been a tough few days of mind games and swirling thoughts.
A lot of pressure on myself to 
wake up,
catch up,
keep up,
hurry up..

I don't know WHAT I'm running against. 
It's only been 3 months post grad..
Trisha, give yourself a break.
I mean, we can joke that my eggs are dying.
or the fact that I just referred to myself in third-person, yikes.

I don't feel that kind of pressure
(i really don't), but I also do?

It's like I have too much time on my hands, worrying about time running out.

ridiculous!

Anyway,
I want to go visit my grandpa tomorrow, sit with him and just get lost in thought.
deep breaths and spacing out.

peace out.



8.16.2013

Right now.


Being at home without a crazy school schedule is really nice.
There's a lot of time to think and journal and daydream.
Then there's also a lot of time to self pity and wallow in fears.

Today I've been hit particularly hard with big waves of insecurity.
I can't blame it on my family for asking about my job status.
no.
It's been a steady build up of a lot of these kinds of internal thoughts.

Is it silly to just continue "creating"?
Does it really matter, what I'm doing right now?
What are my goals? Do I have goals?

Is this weird early 20's stuff? haha
Relationships & career seem to be the hot topics.

Here's an honest prayer tonight--

"Father, 
I'd hate for my ultimate goal in this journey
to be about making it big, striking it rich, and finding a husband. 
Teach me to be satisfied in the now
that You've presented and provided for me."

"The Lord is my portion," 
says my soul.
"Therefore I will hope in Him."
(Lamentations 3:24)


Amen.



8.15.2013

I do declare!


I woke up this morning wanting to declare all my feelings!

My love for ice cream, that is. 
yeah, this post is real deep.

My mom has been bringing home little quarts of Haagen Dazs coffee ice cream, 
and we get the luxury of *TWO* max scoops a day. 
Of course, I've been indulging in this..a scoop a day cures all stress, heartache, and worries. They should write country songs about this. 

So here it is, 
The Ice Cream Declaration!

"man oh MAN, I love love love this ice cream stuff.
The kind that comes in a sweet, crispy cone
and drips and dribbles all over your face."



Made to Order prints are available in the shop!
Colors are customizable.

You order, I make it.






8.12.2013

Whoa.


Inspired by a story my buddy Emily shared 
about having really poor vision since she was in second grade.
Thick glasses on a little 7 year old has got to be the cutest.

print available in the etsy shop

A different perspective, a shift from how I normally compose..
thus, more of a challenge that boasted little bumps in the process.


But this little girl and those awesome bold giraffe spots 
--crediting only the Big Man upstairs--
makes for a really fun illustration.

(I think!)

8.08.2013

Not babushka

From wiki:
"They are sometimes incorrectly referred to as 'babushka dolls'.."

haha, whoops.


This here is a matryoshka
(thank God for autocorrect.)

Stopped by Oh Hello Friend with some buddies the other day. 
And instead of buying shorts (go me), I got this super cool DIY Russian doll kit

I honestly just wanted to post these photos because the lighting and colors are so nice. 
And because this little "matryoshka" now reminds me of a really great day spent with good friends. 



so cute, right? I just wish it kept going and going..



8.07.2013

Shark week, y'all.


Got to catch up with my old camp director, Kacy, the other night. 
She's hilarious and is pretty well-known in our little circles for her LOVE of sharks.

I quote: 
"I was weird as a kid, went off to the library to read books about dinosaurs and sharks."

So, thee most exciting news yet.. 
She's expecting a baby girl in November!


Clearly, I get a little too giddy about other people's offspring. 
Here. And here

But I can't help it, 
especially when I've been following their stories from the beginning.
 It makes me so happy to know that God's blessed them with a little mini. 

Anyway, 
in light of this baby excitement AND shark week (coincidence, really), 
here's an illustration that is now happily housed in the Nagatoshi residence:

print available in the etsy shop.


- - -

Also working on getting some custom baby illustration options available..
yay? nay?

8.04.2013

Happy heart.


video

So artwalk came and went...

sigh of relief. 

but a happy sigh. 

Got to share my love for chubby babies.
Create a few calligraphy pieces.

The best part was getting to see all of my friends in one place.
seriously, some drove hours and made it just in time, 
another I hadn't seen for a good year, 
and another took the train up from san diego.

ugh. happy, full heart!

I'm so so grateful for this little journey that God continues to lead me on.
It's SO full of fear and apprehension, 
but also sprinkled with a lot of love, affirmation and encouragement.
It's humbling, this kind of feeling...
knowing that yes, God's blessed me with a love of creating with my hands, 
but it's nothing that could have happened without the people that He's surrounded me with.

It's also nothing without the sense of peace and security that I have 
knowing that even in moments of insecurity and doubt, 
I am exactly where He wants me to be. 

The Lord gives enough for today,
and I have faith in the fact that He provides for tomorrow.

"His pleasure is not in the strength of the horse,
nor his delight in the legs of the warrior;
the Lord delights in those who fear him,
who put their hope in his unfailing love."
Psalm 147:10-11

- - -

True to form, I took zero photos from the night.
I'll definitely remember to take some when I stop by next week! YES.

Here are a few that I grabbed from my buddies:

pre-artwalk sweets with the roomie, 
sugar definitely calms the nerves. haha

HUGE shoutout to Danni for the big privilege of setting up shop in her amazing store.


the longest verse I had to tackle that night, 29 words!!
I had a 15 word limit, haha.


Some of my favorite people, in matching green! perfection.


My college roomie spent the entire afternoon with me setting up and just being a source of comfort.
I have so much apprehension walking into new situations sometimes, 
and she knows that. love her. to death. 

and more photobooth fun with my dad and sister.
probably the highlight of the night for him. haha!


(sidenote: this post made it so obvious how I remember instagram handles WAYY better than real names, yikes.)



anyway,
CHEERS!